Daryl Goard
Postmodern CriticSend in the Clones
September 20th 2006 07:08
Insert witty caption here
Well here we are. This is the cover to the record breaking run of Brian Bendis and Mark Bagely on Ultimate Spider-Man.
In the Clone Saga, peter has encountered many clones, and we can see them before you in the picture. Lets have a run through of these little fellows shall we? Yes we shall.
Front and center is the Spidey we all know and love...well the Ultimate Spidey that we all know and love. Young Peter Parker is again in the middle of this mess (good thing too, considering the comic is about him..wouldn't want to buy a comic about Aunt May's exploits...which if you have been reading this particular arc include getting dirty with Prof. Miles Warren...old people sex....ewwwwwwww).
The bottom left. Well, that's the Ultimate Scorpian...the natural enemy of the spider...apparently. This is the person responsible for Peter finding out that he had a clone, mainly because he saw his face. Somewhat unstable, the Scorpian had his tail grafted to his spine. You know what that means, *insert penis pun here*
To Sorpies (that sounds like an STD) right is the Freddy Kreuger clone. Obviously something went wrong in the cloning experiment, because now he has a face that makes me feel like eating pizza. He is also slightly unstrable, and has kidnapped MJ Watson to perform magic tricks on to giver her powers. Pft don't you hate it when guys try that move on you...ladies...I know you read this blog too...maybe.
Top right hand corner. That's Peter Parker as a chick. Yup, that's right...Spidey as a chick. Now all those of you who have always wanted to have Spidey's babies but lacked the necessary uterus raise your hand. Come on, raise it. As if I'm the only one who has thought "If Spidey was a chick I'd so do him". What do you mean that was creepy? Oh, the fact I'm thinking about doing a fictional character depicted in an illustration...yeah I can see that.
Ok, almost there. We're up to the last clone. Top left hand corner. The black Spidey...or is it a symbiote? oooooooooo mysterious...not really, he's a clone in the black costume. Those facts automaticly take away a majority of the enigma once shrouding this clone. But he has a triangle on his heas...ooooo mysterious. Isn't arguing with oneself fun. Try it sometime, the meds they give you to stop it are great! (You'll see Spidey as a chick).
So, there we have it, my complete summery of what's happeing in Ultimate SPider-Man. What do you mean I didn't provide any information? I gave you heaps...the black clone has a triangle thinggy on his head...what more do you want?
Oh, competant writing...gotchya.
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